I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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