Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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