He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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