its not stalking. its research.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
