I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
