A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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