Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
