Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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