i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
