Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
