That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
