mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
