I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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