we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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