I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
People in love make me want to vomit
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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