i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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