He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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