i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He passed out mid-signature
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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