Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
