Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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