Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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