Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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