K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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