please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize