She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
