I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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