dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
