Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize