I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
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The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
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You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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