discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
