yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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