I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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