I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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