I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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