I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize