The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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