ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
