why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
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He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.