I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay