yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
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Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.