Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my being single is dangerous.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.