Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You're a waste of cheezeits
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
