that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
