We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
