she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.