...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive