I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I need water and some morals
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
