Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
