420 ftw
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
