I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How does it feel to date your dad?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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