This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
