I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
