is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
