so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
