I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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