I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
