I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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