Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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