that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize