She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
