I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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