Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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